I decided to go without CNN.com, TMZ.com, NYTimes.com and all other news outlets for a while. I made it all day yesterday and today, but I didn’t decide to replace the time I spend on those sites with journaling until today. Keep in mind that I normally spend about an hour or two on those sites every day. I have an ongoing fascination with news and celebrity news.
I wanted to see what my life would be like without that stuff. Since we moved to Granada, my focus has already turned way more local. As in, Calle Santa Lucia local. I can’t read the news in Spanish, we only have one channel on our television, and I didn’t realize what was going on in the world until my sister emailed me to ask if I had heard of a certain town in Nicaragua. The reason? A volcano had erupted.
I’m sitting on the edge of the walkway that looks out into our courtyard, while a friend from El Puente stains our big tables and my roommates plan their lesson for tonight’s episode of Vida Joven. Today has been a pretty uplifting day. Yesterday was extremely boring. By the end of it I had to beg Frank to take me around the city and out to dinner. We ended up catching several innings of the Braves/Mets game in an American owned bar. The loud sound of the game hooked us like little fishes as we walked down to the lake. It was a little taste of America and it felt great. But today, it has been straight Nicaragua.
The day started with me sleeping in. I woke up at seven, and planned until seven fifteen to skip the Wednesday morning Bible study. I only really need to go on Friday (our small group meets after the Bible study), and I skipped last week. I laid in bed for a few minutes, until I rehashed yesterday’s events in my head. I wanted to avoid the boredom that I experienced, so I asked Frank to wait on me while I brushed my teeth, slapped some clothes on, pulled my hair back and ran out the door.
It was worth it. Frank had coffee waiting on me, and we chased shade down the street. Charles is back, finally, and was clearly very happy to be here. It was exciting to see him. I’ve suffered through my impatience at getting started, and have had a hard time understanding how El Puente works. I’m learning the team dynamic, and have passed a lot of time being judgmental and impatient. Having the base leaders back will be very very good for me. My sin of impatience was made clear before Charles even started the lesson:
Php 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Studying Phillippians always makes me think of my Pat, our mentor, struggling through this text on Sunday mornings. God asked him to teach, and he was never comfortable in that role. But I remember the excitement in his voice as he went through this verse. He struggles, like a lot of people, with excessive worrying. And you could tell he really wanted to let God take over those worries.
This lesson of throwing my worries on him was made even clearer during lunch, as I had a chance to connect to Sarah. She has a lot of really cool ideas, all involving hand made crafts. She asked if I wanted to come help them make bracelets from jicaro pods. She also showed me a bracelet made from recycled paper and beads, and talked about her future plans for this business. I’m really excited to be learning from her. She not only has branding and graphic design service, but has degrees in fine art and amazing taste in interior design. Do I sound excited enough?
After lunch, Frank and I sat in the meditation garden in our courtyard. By meditation garden, I mean I swung in the hammock chair while Frank squatted on the sidewalk. For some reason, both we and Oneada and Jenner gravitate towards this spot for heavy duty conversations about God and life. I realized as I was talking to Frank how much I love his face, and God revealed another way I have been holding back my worries from him. I constantly worry about staying faithful to Frank, for some odd reason. I’m convinced I don’t have it in me to be a faithful wife. I’ve never been one to think I’m above any sin, especially sexual sins. It’s hard for me to share these concerns with Frank because I know it must hurt to have me worry about that. But as I read those verses again, I know I can give it to God and that because Christ is in me, I can be faithful.
So a list of things I worried about just today:
- Pulling the God card out. I’ve talked more about my spiritual walk in this post (that I know non-Christians read) more than most of my life. I worry about my friends thinking I’m crazy.
- Letting down Charles. Ridiculous, right?
- Being too friendly with the guys here. They are crazy about sex and flirting down here. I worry about getting myself into a situation where I’ve been too friendly. I’m more comfortable with guys because I was raised with so many of them, and I hope that my friendliness shows to be comradarie, rather than flirting.