Created 4 Community

I remember anxiously waiting with my mom on my dad to come home from being out of town. I was really young – maybe 4. As he finally walked in the door, I remember being so excited to see him as he picked me up in his arms. He gave me a big kiss me on the cheek and as he did this, his scruffy face scratched mine.

He then put me down and held his hands behind his back and leaned down to eye-level with me. At this point in my life, I was obsessed with Star Wars (around 1981) and my dad asked me, “What does Darth Vader say?” I remember mimicking the breathing noise that Darth made in the movies at which point my dad pull his arms from behind him to reveal a pack of Star Wars bubble gum.

I was ecstatic. I held the gum in my hand staring at it so overcome with joy that I could hardly move. I remember looking up at my dad and seeing a look of pure satisfaction on his face. I’ll never forget his smile in that moment.

Every time this memory has popped in my head I’ve always wondered why it was such a memorable moment that almost 29 years later I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was sharing this with Bekah and she helped me realize what was so important about the gum. What made the moment so special had nothing at all to do with the gum. It was the fact that my dad knew me so well that he knew I would love to have a pack of Star Wars bubble gum. It was the fact that my dad loved me so much that he thought of me while he was gone and cared enough about me to stop and buy me something. He knew me enough to know that if he asked me to mimic Darth that I would do it and that when I did this it would make him smile. I did something that truly brought him joy and that he approved of.

It was the best gum I’ve ever had.

God hath work to do in this world; and to desert it because of its difficulties and entanglements, is to cast off His authority. It is not enough that we be just, that we be righteous, and walk with God in holiness; but we must also serve our generation, as David did before he fell asleep. God hath a work to do; and not to help Him is to oppose Him.

- John Owen

I am married to an amazing woman who writes beautiful things about me.

During one of our weekly Solo Por Hoy meetings, I mentioned the need for everyone to be praying for Bekah and I as we start to pray through and look at where God wants us to go when our time here is up in October. After our time together ended, one of guys said jokingly, “How you leave us is how you will find us”. Everyone thought this comment was hilarious.

I wasn’t sure how he meant it but what I took from it was “We are only going to grow and move forward with you here.”

It reminds me of Jesus’ time with the disciples and how he had to leave for them to move forward. For them to truly become all that God created them to be they had to learn to walk on their own right where they were. I have stressed this a lot during my time with the guys. They have heard time and time again, “To stay clean, we have to learn how to do it right here where you are. You can’t do it by running away to another place because wherever you go – there you are.”

Two questions keep playing over and over – Am I doing everything I can to ensure that they move forward in their walks with Christ? Am I making the most of my time with them while I am here?

This morning I read this article and it really struck a cord with me. It says “I love you, but…” is not a safe place to be. I have to guard myself from loving people in this way. “I love you but” doesn’t fit in a marriage, in a friendship or even in discipleship. The pressure of not measuring up or being loved for who you are creates a false self. The author says that as a result of the pressure “we morph into an imposter, a poser desperate for reality”.

The good news is that it doesn’t have to stay like this. The sooner I realize that my true self is enough – the sooner I can break free from the false self that has been created. I like how the author puts it, “maybe it’s time to stage a jailbreak”.

Related Posts:
Identity Part I

Identity Part II

Identity Part III

See the Himalaya Range

James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes in the Dispersion: Greetings. (James 1:1 ESV)

I read this and wondered why dispersion was capitalized. Kinda strange. I found this in the footnotes of the ESV study bible:

[speaking of the Dispersion] The tribes of Israel were scattered throughout the world by the Assyrians and Babylonians. They looked forward to being regathered as a people (Jer. 31:7-14; Ezek. 37:15-28). James implies that the true Israel is now also dispersed (away from its heavenly homeland) and oppressed, but assured of their final gathering in the Lord.

This makes it sound like James is saying that the Dispersion is the Israelites new home away from home. Indicating that this was their new norm.

I have been seeking direction and discernment from God about our future after our time here is finished. During this process, I have been led to first answer questions about my identity and purpose in life. After all, you can’t find out the where (where am I to do it) or how (how am I to do it) if you don’t know the who (who am I?) or the what (what am I to do?). Confused?

[ Image found here ]

For as long as I can remember I have looked at other people in my life and picked out or coveted certain qualities that they have and then imitated them or applied them to my life. I would imitate their personalities – even their senses of humor. In the past, this has landed me in lots of bad situations because most of the time those qualities are not good qualities to covet or possess.

I believe that there is a healthy way to imitate people. I think when true discipleship takes place – this is what happens, after all Paul tells his followers in 1 Corinthians 4:16 to to imitate him. I need to seek out people that I want to be like. People that have admirable qualities and who seek after justice and holiness. But one still needs to find their own voice in this world. Their own path. Their own identity. The purpose for why they were created.

Inspired by this post, I am looking deeply within myself to find out:

Who I am?

What am I to do? What is my purpose in this world?

What I am uniquely gifted with?

Today, I am pressing into this. Asking God to show me what he has gifted me with and to show me who I am.

Related Posts:
Identity Part I

Identity Part II

A couple of weeks ago we watched Evan Almighty.

Overall I thought it was a good movie (not quite as funny as Bruce Almighty – but still very entertaining). There was a part where God is talking to Evan and he explains to him a bit of his logic:

Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

This quote has stuck with me for weeks now. I feel like this is something I have struggled with for years now. But thanks to Evan Almighty I feel like I finally have a grasp on why God allows the things he allows. He gives us opportunities to make the right choice. Over and over again until we get it.

It was a beautiful night out at the Prayer House for the first Monday night Solo Por Hoy meeting. This night is lead by a fellow recovering addict who really has a heart for people that are struggling with addiction. He styled the night a little differently and it was great to be a part of it. We started with some general guidelines and then had a time for musical worship lead by one of my favorite people – Lester.

During the time of the group when we allow for people to share, one of the brothers shared how he had offended Lester in his past and through tears he apologized to him. They met in the middle of the room and embraced each other as Lester forgave him. It was beautiful. I leaned over to Mario and said “that’s what this is all about”. Reconciliation. Restoration. Forgiveness.

That’s when it hit me. God is at work in these meetings. God is moving in the hearts of addicts in this little corner of the world and I get to be a part of this. It’s truly a beautiful experience.